


"And now, the end is near…"

by felisblanco



Category: Angel: the Series RPF, Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-26
Updated: 2005-03-26
Packaged: 2017-11-09 23:44:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Actors, beer, weed and a pool table.  Oh and angst.  And jealousy. And...</p>
            </blockquote>





	"And now, the end is near…"

It’s strange the way David is so possessive of him. Never out loud, but the stares and the way his lips will twist in an angry sneer, say more than words ever could. It’s been like this from the start. He hated Juliet, he hated Mercedes and he really hated Sarah. It didn’t matter that it was all acting, that James hadn’t really had a relationship with any of them outside the studio, apart from the occasional drink and one bad fuck he regretted even while he was doing it. But at least they were women.

The guys… sometimes James thinks David will just lose it and slam his fist into whoever is the present offender. That one hug he gave Jay had Dave fuming for weeks. And then Tom comes for that Slayer episode… hugging him a little bit longer than it says in the script, following him with puppy eyes and chatting away like the nervous teenager he’s still in his heart. Just like he did that last year on Buffy. It gets to the point where James has to take Tom aside and gently tell him to forget it. Please go look somewhere else because no matter how much he hopes, it will not happen. Earned him a few tears and humiliated blushes but it had to be done. The rest of his stay Tom keeps mainly to himself, but every now and then James will catch him gazing at him with sad eyes. But he knows the boy will get over it. He’s young and a bit famous and everyone in Hollywood knows he’s gay. Only a matter of time before he’s snatched by someone. James hopes it’s someone nice. After all, the kid is sweet.

Anyway, David… All Dave could see was someone touching what he considered his. Strange, but also damn frustrating considering he doesn’t want anyone to know about them. James gets that though, with the kid and the wife and above all, not wanting to be ‘outed’. For him it wouldn’t be such a big deal. He knows he’s damn sexy, especially considering his age, and even if the more prudish girls might be disappointed their hero is not the dashing heterosexual prince they thought him to be, he also knows there are plenty of them out there who would kill for pictures of him kissing a guy. Especially if that guy was David.

It does have its nice side though, all that possessiveness. Being looked over critically after a particularly nasty fight; being suddenly caught by the arm and dragged into a storeroom or an empty set for a heated kiss or possibly some groping. They’ve even fucked a couple of times, freezing still every time voices came nearer and then fucking even harder once they move away. But nicest of all is knowing. Just _knowing_ that someone actually feels so strongly about him. Loves him even, though they never utter that word.

Love. Sounds stupid anyway. He doesn’t need to hear it. He’s no weak woman, crying for reassurance every five minutes. Like his ex… God, she drove him mad. ‘You’re never home. Did you sleep with that woman? I know you were checking out that guy’. Nag, nag, nag.

No, they’re not like that. Doesn’t mean they don’t hint it. ‘Fuck, you’re tight.’ is pretty much a love declaration to him. And ‘Jesus, I need you. Please, God, yes.’ doesn’t that just say it all? Doesn’t it?

As the show draws slowly to an end he starts to feel more and more nervous though. Neither of them has any projects planned in the near future, except maybe drinking and cursing those fuckers sitting in their highchairs in WB. The thought that the last day of shooting might also be the last day of their ‘relationship’ makes his stomach knot and he feels like he can never get enough time with Dave. And the time they do get Dave wants to spend fucking. James just can’t help wishing for a little bit more than that. Something that would tell him whatever they’re doing will last even when the shooting is over.

When Jay suggests they all have a guys’ night out, hand resting friendly on James’s arm, he can feel David tensing so he quickly agrees, giving Jay a short smile before dragging Dave away to ‘go over their lines’.

“What was he…? Are you two…?” Dave hisses as James pulls him into a closet and kisses him, smothering whatever accusations are boiling inside. They both know they’re not true. Dave just needs reassurance. Like a lot.

“Sshh, Dave. You know he’d never. Come on, it will be fun. You guys used to go out all the time, remember?” Before he came over to the Angel set, he means. Their own little blond Yoko. “We’ll have a few beers, shoot some pool and then you and I can go over to my place and I’ll let you tie me up again.” James smiles as he feels Dave harden against his belly.

“You promise?” David trails a finger down James’ arm, anger making way for lust. “Just a couple of beers, yeah?”

“Yeah. You cool?” Dave nods and he gives his bulge a squeeze before opening the closet door and checking the coast is clear. Then he grins and gives David a hard kiss before slipping outside, leather coat billowing behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The place is called 15 Balls which has Andy giggling like a school girl. They set up a table, Jay and Alex against Dave and James. Chris is playing at some bar which makes Andy the fifth wheel but he’s quite happy keeping track of the scores and leering at their asses as they lean over for the shots. Sometimes James envies him, being so open and obvious. He knows Andy’s figured him out even though they’ve never talked about it. He wonders if he knows about David though. David who’s so straight he keeps pictures of his wife and kid in his wallet, showing them off to everyone he meets, proud and happy. David who will hug and kiss and fool around with everyone on set, just for the fun of it, cos they all know it doesn’t mean anything.

Everyone but James. No wonder people think David resents him.

No wonder James sometimes thinks it too.

Soon the game is in full swing, the guys drinking and laughing, testosterone and alcohol mixing together in a confusing cocktail. Dave is sipping his beer, seemingly watching Jay shoot one ball after another down but James is willing to bet he had his eyes on him seconds before, making sure the laugh he’s sharing with Alex is just that. A laugh. That Alex’s hand on his shoulder isn’t sliding down, that the merry words he’s whispering into James’s ear aren’t an invitation of any sort. Like James would actually accept. Like he would really want anyone else but Dave. Why the fuck can’t he just trust him? Just for that James puts his arm around Alex’s waist and gives him a fuck-I’m-drunk hug before sauntering over to the other side of the table to take his shot, ass nudging Dave’s thigh as he passes by. This is what you could have, right here right now, if you weren’t such a pussy, he says with a sway of his hips.

He’s too drunk to hit worth shit but he’s also too fucking drunk to care. He’s feeling lonely and horny, and when Jay slaps his arm he pulls him close and breathes into his chest. “Fuck this shit. I need a smoke.” He looks up at Jay, pouting his lips and Jay laughs, hugging him tighter. He smells like whiskey and oak and James wants to bury his nose in his skin. Fuck, he’s drunk.

“Jimmy wants a smoke, guys. My place?”

The guys share a look and a grin. Been a long time since they had a party like that. After all Joss wants them clearheaded, not doped up and hung over. But they all have two days off so who cares what Joss the Boss says?

James is careful not to look at Dave as they walk out, Jay’s arm still around his shoulders. The beers and Jay’s smile is making him melancholy. This is how it should be, except Jay should be Dave. It feels so good being held close by someone who doesn’t mind people looking. So he pretends he’s a little drunker than he really is, a little weaker, a little unsteadier. Better put his arm around Jay’s waist and hold tight so he doesn’t fall over. As Jay tightens his hold he closes his eyes and for a moment he can pretend he’s someone else.

He can hear Alex and Andy chatting away behind them and he’s starting to fear that Dave has abandoned him, when Andy tells him to hurry up or they’ll leave him. He risks a glance back only to be caught by Dave’s glare and he quickly looks away a slight shiver running through his body.

“Jimmy, you ok?”

He looks up into Jay’s chocolate eyes, filled with concern and for a second he contemplates asking him to take him home and stay with him. Just for this one night, nothing fishy, just keep him company and make sure Dave doesn’t loose whatever has kept him from lashing out so far. He swallows. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just…” He shrugs and looks away, afraid Jay might read his thoughts.

“Don’t let him get to you. He can be a real ass but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.” Startled James stares up at him, stunned to see a look of compassion in Jay’s eyes. “You deserve better than him but you know that. He’ll never leave her, not for you anyway. Nothing to do with you, Jim, he’s just never gonna come out, not for anyone.”

James pales and looks away, his stomach threatening to overturn. “Does everyone know?”

“No, man. Don’t worry. Just me and Andy. And maybe Chris.” James flinches. Of course Chris knows. Great. Just fucking great. “But if Dave doesn’t stop this caveman act it will be out soon enough. He’s such a jealous bitch around you.”

James can’t help chuckling at that. He opens his mouth to say something but then Jay finally manages to haul a cab and they all tumble inside, ignoring the driver telling them they’re too many, “Only three passengers. Rules say only three.”

Alex hands him a couple of twenties and the man shuts up quickly and pulls away from the curb. They’re like squished sardines; Jay, Dave and Andy packed into the seats, Alex and James half in their laps, half on the floor. James jumps as someone pinches him and he looks up to find Dave’s dark eyes staring at him, still angry but more horny. James glances down at Dave’s crotch, swallowing as he sees the bulge. His own cock stirs and he feels a warmth that no alcohol or drug can give him. Only Dave. Closing his eyes he leans his head against Dave’s and Jay’s tight pressed knees, shivering when he feels a finger stroking his hair. He thinks it’s Dave but he isn’t sure. Beside him he can feel Alex shift and then a hand rests on his thigh. He knows it has nothing to do with sex and all to do with the tight space they’re sharing but he doesn’t really care. He’s feeling hot and flushed and if Dave doesn’t touch him soon he might just cry.

Finally they’re there and grunting and giggling they tumble out of the cab. James breathes in the fresh air. He’s sobered up a bit but that’s ok because Jay has the best weed in LA. Or so he says. And that’s just what he needs right now, a trip into another world. A much nicer one where fuck always means love and bi is the best.

Jay’s house isn’t that big compared to Dave’s palace, the one that James has never been invited to. Saw the pictures in some Hollywood magazine and thought he’d be sick imagining Dave and Jaime rolling around on that fucking big bed or swimming naked in the pool. Pushing the dark thoughts out of his mind - after all _he_ ’s not the jealous one - he takes the beer Jay offers him and walks into the living room. There’s a grand piano in the middle and he walks over, running his fingers over the white tangents. Not that he really plays, not the piano. But he likes the way it sounds.

“So where do you want it? Here or in the play room or…” James looks up to find everyone watching him with interest like he’s the one calling the shots. James the junkie. Ashamed he shakes his head and looks away.

Andy thankfully comes to the rescue as so many times before. “You have a play room? Lead the way, brother.”

Jay laughs and opens a door leading down to the basement. And James suddenly finds himself alone with Dave, glaring at him.

“Don’t try telling me that wasn’t flirting. At the bar. And on the way over here. You two fucking?” He’s gritting his teeth and James sees hurt in his eyes. And why does that feel so damn good?

James wants to tell him yes just for the hell of it but instead he walks over and gives Dave the deep kiss he's been longing for all night, pushing his tongue into his mouth, grinding their mutually hard erections together. _Fuck Dave, need you. Now._ But the craving for that wicked smoke burning in his lunges holds him back. He looks up, fingers stroking Dave’s back. “It’s nothing. He’s just being friendly. You’re the one that’s making me hard.” He feels David melting against him and he breathes out. “Come on. A few smokes and then we can go, ok?” Dave nods reluctantly and they walk downstairs, keeping a safe distance.

“There you are.” Alex and Andy are sitting on the couch, blowing blue smoke in the air while Jay is racking up the balls on the pool table. “Jay says we never finished the game. Come on, Jimmy boy. Mr. Weed is waiting for you.” Andy waves the joint burning between his fingers, eyes half-closed in bliss.

James gives them a practised smile, Dave’s eyes burning a hole in his back, and accepts the offer with a quirk of his eyebrow. The smoke burns his lunges and he closes his eyes, keeping it in as long as he can before letting it out in a slow graceful blow. The guys hoot and he takes a deep bow, deeper and deeper and he realises he’s falling half a second before Jay catches his arm and pulls him up, hugging him tight to keep him from toppling over again. His laughter shakes both their bodies and James leans into Jay’s embrace, the dark hot skin making him shiver. Jay kisses his forehead playfully and lowers him down in a big comfy chair, patting his head like a puppy. Closing his eyes he lets his mind float with the music playing softly in the room, slowly bringing the joint up for another drag. And another. And anoth…

“James, Jimmy… wake up. Not passing out on us, are you?”

Brown eyes in a brown face. James reaches out and touches the smiling lips, eyes filled with adoration. “Beautiful.” His eyelids feel heavy. “Know that? You’re so fucking beautiful. Bet you taste like chocolate.”

“Oooookaaay. That’s it, man. No more dope for you.”

James frowns and opens his eyes again, then looks around the room. Andy and Alex are playing pool, or so they obviously think though neither of them is very successful. James scans the room for David but he can’t see him anywhere. Shit. His heart starts hammering and he thinks he might just throw up. “Jay, where… where’s Dave? He’s not… Is he gone?”

“Relax, bro. He’s outside breathing in some fresh air. Said he had a headache.”

James looks down at his empty fingers, wondering where his joint is. He’s feeling sad again and he doesn’t want that. But when he looks up at Jay the man shakes his head. “No. You’ve had enough. You’ll feel like shit tomorrow.”

“I feel like shit everyday anyway.” He rubs his right temple with the ball of his hand. “Fucking nicotine patches don’t make a damn difference.” Yeah, cos that’s what making him so miserable. Right.

Jay looks at him with sympathetic eyes, then stands up and gives him his hand. “Get up. One game and I bet I’ll kick your ass.”

James lets him haul him up then standing on shaky legs he looks up. “Bet me what?” The look he gets makes him take an unsteady step back.

“If I win you have a talk with him. A real one. If you win… I’ll give you a taste.”

James stares at him, too baffled to argue. Then he blinks. “A taste of what?”

“Chocolate.” Jay purses his lips and laughs, then walks over to the pool table, leaving James staring after him in shock.

“Give it up, girls. You haven’t hit a single ball in half an hour. Move over and let the big boys play.”

“Hey!” Their indignant protests end in doped up laughter and the happy pair stumble up the stairs, mumbling about the moon and pizza.

Left alone in the room with Jay James suddenly feels anything but calm. He’s been horny since before the night started and the thought of kissing those full lips makes his cock grow even harder. But he doesn’t want Jay, does he? He wants Dave. Dave with his big brown eyes and soft lips and warm hands. But Dave isn’t here. Dave left him and Jay… “But you’re not gay.”

Jay looks over his shoulder at him. “So? Doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you. Fuck Jim, you’re such a girl anyway I wouldn’t know the difference.” And again that happy laugh.

“Oh, I’m the girl?” James smirks. “Well, this girl is going to kick your beautiful black ass.”

Laughing makes him feel a lot better and confident he swings his stick, almost knocking over the bottles of beer on the table. He’s conveniently forgotten the other part of the bet; after all there is no way he’s losing. Even if the stick seems bent and the balls keep going in the wrong direction. Incidentally Jay isn’t any better off and when James just barely sneaks in the eight-ball they both freeze.

After a moment of silence James looks up, biting his lip. “Look, man. It was just a joke, right? I mean, you don’t have to…”

He doesn’t even have time to finish the sentence before he’s being pressed up against the wall, thick soft lips covering his own. Moaning he closes his eyes and lets Jay’s tongue fill his mouth, hot and persistent. Strong hands are holding his waist, his own arms locked around Jay’s neck, pulling him closer. God yes, he needs this. So damn horny, so fucking lonely.

It isn’t until he feels something hard nudging his stomach that he pulls away, panicking. This isn’t right. What the hell is he doing?

Jay is breathing deeply, licking his lips. “Just like a girl. Damn you taste good. If I weren’t so straight I’d take you upstairs and fuck you right now. Except you wouldn’t like that, would you Dave?”

James’s eyes widen in shock and he turns his head to where Jay is looking. Dave is standing in the shadows beneath the stairs, his face hidden by the dark.

“No, I wouldn’t. Get away from him. He’s mine.”

“That’s what I thought." Jay looks down at James, smiling slightly. "Don’t worry, I already got what I wanted.” Jay steps away and James stares at him in confusion but Jay is already looking at Dave again. “Hurt him and I’ll fuck your shit up.”

David keeps his stare a moment before nodding. “If I do I’ll be the first to call you.”

All James can do is follow Jay with his eyes as he goes up the stairs. Then he turns back to David, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I wasn’t… I’m so sorry, Dave. I didn’t mean to.”

“You kissed him.” David’s voice is shivering lightly. “You’ve been denying it all night and I actually believed you. Then I come back down here and you’re fucking kissing him.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” There are tears in his eyes and he wipes at them with the back of his hand. “I’m all fucked up, Dave. I… You get me so damn horny and I can’t even touch you. It’s killing me, man. Jay, he just… I never thought he’d do it, Dave. We were just joking. It didn’t mean anything.”

“You fucking kissed him. If you were trying to make me jealous you succeeded.”

David turns around and suddenly James can see how this is gonna end with him alone and Dave going home to his pretty little wife and cute kid and come Monday he won’t even look at him. The alcohol and weed is making his head spin and without thinking he starts unbuttoning his jeans with trembling hands. “Wait. Please.”

David turns around and stares at him as he shoves down his pants, revealing a painful erection. Then he stands as straight as he can, arms unconsciously hugging his shaking body.

“You do this to me. No one else, only you. I need you, Dave. Please.”

Dave is watching him with dark eyes and little Jimmy likes that too damn much. He’s already leaving a trail of pre-cum down his thigh. James wipes at his eyes with a trembling hand, lip quivering. “Please, Dave. I’ll do anything.”

David walks up to him and he shivers as strong fingers entangle in his hair and he’s brought closer. The kiss is hard and demanding and he wants to cry in relief. When the hot mouth travels down his neck he sobs out as he clings to Dave’s warm body. “God, yes. Please Dave, just fucking take me. Please.”

He’s twirled around so fast he falls forward, right onto the pool table. David's fingers are still in his hair pressing his head against the green cloth and through the buzzing in his ears he can hear the sound of a zipper being pulled down. Then there are spit-slick fingers probing his ass and before he has time to prepare they are being shoved inside him, hard. Fuck, it burns but he doesn’t care because these are David’s fingers. And for David he doesn’t mind pain. So he closes his eyes and starts pushing back, grunting and moaning as they thrust in deeper and harder.

He’s dried up when the fingers pull out and it hurts when they drag along bruised skin. But it’s all right because Dave’s cock is slick when it pushes into him and the burning isn’t so bad. All he can think of is Dave, his cock slamming into his ass, his fist tugging at his hair, his lips as they start sucking on his neck. Dave, his Dave. The table is creaking and they’re both panting heavily, James whimpering under Dave’s onslaught.

“Like that, do you? Like me fucking you right here where anyone could see us? Showing the whole world who you belong to? Mine are you? Mine, Jimmy?”

“Yes! Yours, Dave. Just yours.” He’s crying but he doesn’t care. “Please Dave, fuck me. Fuck me, Dave.”

“Oh I’ll fuck you all right. I’ll teach you not to mess around like that.”

The hand on his hip is gripping him so hard he’s sure he’ll have bruises. Dave is slamming into him so hard the edge of the table is cutting into his stomach, Dave’s balls are slapping against Jimmy’s ass and the pleasure is making such a delicious mix with the pain that James can’t help howling.

“Yes! God please, I love you, Dave. I love you.” Jerking like a fish on dry land he comes without Dave even touching his dick. A few more thrusts and Dave follows, banging James’ head against the table as he slams his release into him.

Their heavy breathing seems to echo in the silent room. James lays bend over the table, Dave’s heavy body crushing him, but he doesn’t dare move. When Dave straightens up and pulls out James feels cold and vulnerable. Alone. Averting his eyes he pulls up his pants, feeling wet cum trickle down his leg.

“Listen, Jim…” Dave sounds sad and James freezes. No. He leans on the pool table, refusing to look up. Don’t do this, Dave. “Fuck, you know how I feel about you, I just…”

“Do I?”

“What?” There is confusion in Dave’s voice and James shakes his head.

“Forget it. Go home, Dave. Jaime’s waiting for you.” He stumbles over to the couch and lies down, legs too shaky to hold him up.

“Jimmy… don’t do this to yourself. Please.”

“Dave, it’s okay. Just go.”

The silence is deafening. Then James feels trembling fingers stroking his hair and he can’t help leaning into the touch.

“I do. Love you, Jim. Why do you think I can’t stand anyone else being near you? But I love Jaime too. And then there’s Jaden… Jimmy, I just can’t do it. But I can’t be without you either.” Kisses over his face and neck.

“Dave…”

“No. Listen. You think I don’t worry about what will happen once it’s all over? Why do you think I’ve been so damn moody?” Dave nuzzles into his neck and James involuntarily puts his arm around him, pulling him closer. “But we’ll work it out somehow, I promise. I can’t be without you. I don’t even want to consider that possibility.”

“I don’t think I can…” But he stops, knowing well that if there’s any way they can still see each other he’ll happily be ‘the other man’, taking whatever Dave can give him.

“Please, Jimmy. It’s been seven years. I don’t think I even know how to live without you. Please?”

As James slowly nods he can’t help thinking he’s signing away any hope he’ll ever have of happiness.

fin

 


End file.
